July 2017 / 68 posts found

Only Adult Left In Trump Administration Named ‘Mad Dog’

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‘He’s Also A Terrible DJ!’ Teen Squeals CLAREMONT, CA—From the moment she first laid eyes on his clumsy, haphazardly sprayed graffiti tag, Pomona College sophomore Jessica Tisselo has been completely enamored with 24-year-old shitty street artist Adam Zane, the love-struck Tisselo told re…

Anthony Scaramucci’s Wife Just Filed For Divorce Because Of Trump

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President Trump has cost his new communications director his marriage. In his first week with Trump, the notoriously slick but politically ignorant Anthony Scaramucci has turned the disaster of a White House into a humiliating catastrophe. It turns out, his personal life is no better. The New York Post’s Emily Smith reports that Scaramucci’s wife of three years, Deirdre Ball, has filed divorce papers due to disgust for what friends describe as his “naked political ambition.” Multiple sources told Smith that Ball is “fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump, whom she despises.” […]

The White House’s new communications director just vowed to “kill all” government leakers

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Recently appointed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci just gave an obscenity-filled interview to the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza in which he threatened to murder fellow government officials, called Chief of Staff Reince Priebus a “fucking paranoid schizophrenic,” and said that, unlike Steve Bannon, “I’m not trying to suck my own cock.” President Donald Trump appointed Scaramucci to the federal government’s highest public relations position on Friday. Here are seven of the most threatening, inflammatory quotes from Scaramucci’s interview with the New Yorker, which was published on Thursday. Scaramucci said he wanted to kill people in government who leak information […]

Trump Just Tweeted A Pathetic Response To Tonight’s Obamacare Repeal Defeat

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The President of the United States, having done nothing more than fire off a few tweets in support of the latest, last-ditch effort to partially repeal the Affordable Care Act (the “skinny” repeal), took to Twitter tonight to grouse about how three Republicans – Senators Lisa Murkowski (R-AK). Susan Collins (R-ME), and John McCain (R-AZ) killed the effort to strip some sixteen million people of their healthcare. 3 Republicans and 48 Democrats let the American people down. As I said from the beginning, let ObamaCare implode, then deal. Watch! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 28, 2017 Trying […]

Congress Just Moved To Punish Trump For His Threat Against Senator Murkowski

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The budding feud between President Trump and Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski is  escalating quickly, with congress now looking into investigating the President for arm twisting that may have crossed the line. It all began Tuesday when Sen. Murkowski joined Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) in voting no on a procedural motion that allowed the Republicans’ TrumpCare bill no one has yet seen to move to floor for debate.  The motion passed anyway, but two days later the President’s anger hasn’t. First, he publicly shamed Sen. Murowski on Twitter yesterday hoping to pressure her into falling in line on subsequent votes. […]

Top Generals Just Defied Trump, Refused To Change Transgender Policy Until Order From Mattis

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Yesterday’s abrupt and uncalled for ban on transgender Americans serving in the US military took everyone by surprise, including the Pentagon. The President apparently fired off the edict on Twitter without informing anyone in the military and with no consideration for what would happen to the 4,000 or so active duty transgender soldiers currently serving American empire across the world. After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow…… — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 26, 2017 When Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked […]